Parking on the street downtown is always a risk for a ticket and a tow, especially when the no-tow time is within such a limited window. What makes the parking situation downtown even worse is that the ticket and the tow always come as a two-for-one deal. They’re like one of those sickening couples that are glued at the hip, finish each other’s thoughts, and are constantly canoodling together. You never get just a ticket, or just a tow. It’s always both and it’s always annoying.
My latest experience with this infuriating couple started on a late night in February when I was too lazy to walk the ten cold minutes from my apartment to my boyfriends. Instead, I take the elevator down to the parkade five stories underground, spend 10 minutes driving up from the deepest depths of the earth, and drive ten minutes in late night traffic to park outside my boyfriends place on a main street downtown. Since the parking is free after 10pm and it’s already eleven, I take little notice of the signs, walk to the entrance, and buzz in for the night.
Seven thirty a.m. rolls around after the snooze button has been hit for the 5th time. I roll out of bed and head for the warm and steamy shower. Ten minutes later with towel on head and toothbrush in hand, I’m standing in front of the closet, looking for something to wear.
I guess that towel and toothbrush must have looked pretty damn good because before I know it, I’m being thrown onto the bed and the towel and toothbrush are strewn carelessly across the floor. I mumble some words about being late for work and needing to move my car but I’m assured there is no need to worry, parking is free until 9.
Thirty minutes and another shower later, I’m throwing on a pencil skirt and heels and am finally out the door with a smile on my face and a skip in my step.
Stepping around the corner, I didn’t need to even see the empty space where my car had once been before I knew that parking was not actually free until 9am. I only needed to see that all the other spaces were empty, and that there was a flow of cars coming down the end of the lane where my car had been parked the night before.
Taking in the scene more closely, several signs indicate in bold red font that there is clearly no parking after 8am. Having lived in the building for over three years, and having parked on the street multiple times, it seems odd that my boyfriend would make such a mistake…
The sound of a register “ka chings” in my head as my good morning feelings turn to annoyance. It seems that good times are not cheap.
Cab to tow-yard: $15
Ticket: $50
Tow: $90
Total Cost to my Boyfriend for Lying About the Parking Time in Order to Get Sex: $155
NICKYKAYE & THE DELICATES OF BUSINESS 